Welcome to my first blog.
Today, I felt that spark. That zap of energy within my soul that it is time to stop playing small and begin betting on authentic myself. No, no, not just against my abilities, skills and talents. I’m talking about facing off with my inner critic, telling her to back off and actually betting on my me-est me. The me that I have for a long time shelved in favor of following the societal blueprint that was handed to me since the first gulp of air I took in as a newborn.
I’ve been on this journey towards authenticity for quite some time but it has felt like a constant, never-ending push and pull. Each time I challenged conventional wisdom, I’d develop a huge knot in my heart and throat (this is real, yo) and it would incapacitate my courage to fully step out. I’d take one baby step forward, and at the smallest sight of resistance or hardship, I’d curl back into familiarity.
I recently moved back to the Bay Area after having lived in Bali since 2019. I didn’t do it out of will -- Mother Bali finally nudged me out of the nest after she spent the last four years cradling me and guiding me back to some semblance of my true self. “It is time to enter into a new chapter,” she lovingly whispered into my heart. This meant a dramatic shift in sight, plans, and yes, lifestyle. Taking root in one of the most expensive cities to live in America, Palo Alto, CA, meant enjoying a non-profit salary was no longer going to be viable and that I was going to need to find a way to financially make ends meet while serving humanity. I felt tempted to go back to Corporate America and dare I say, even entertained a few promising opportunities with even greater promising financial rewards. Then, I remembered what always mattered to me -- to leave this world better than how I found it. It would take a phenomenal company that promises an Earth-moving impact to lead me to pivot that corner.
Deep inside, I knew God was propelling me to do what I have been too terrified to do -- to make a real attempt at becoming a wellbeing and empowerment coach. This meant starting from scratch designing, building, and living out my own ideas for a business -- and on a grand scale, my own blueprint in life. This was not the training I had received in childhood. All of my life, I had a very headstrong mother who powerfully dictated my path. I am used to being led. By default because of my immigrant upbringing, I became a true conformist to my core. After all, my mom sacrificed so much to give us a life of opportunities that only America could offer. So rather than letting the joys of succeeding lead me forward, it was fear of failing that motivated my steps. Fear of disappointing my mom, to be exact. Today, I feel inspired to unlock the inner leader in me.
And I’m saying f*@k yes!
Conformity is the enemy of evolution. And my deepest, most profound desire is to evolve and expand --and consequently help others and the greater planet to do the same. What I have learned is that discomfort is the ultimate precursor to growth. It takes willingness, courage, and unflinching awareness to look beyond the veil and carve our own road -- but it’s worth every ounce of our energy. It’s a terrain I'm willing to travel to discover true and long-lasting freedom.
Expect more truthbombs on here that I hope will illuminate your own life force within. Let’s all take the proverbial masks off together and show off real human strength and power. Authenticity is antidote.
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